Ray Stevenson stars as unstoppable Cleveland gangster Danny Greene in “Kill the Irishman.” (Photo courtesy Anchor Bay Films)

“Kill the Irishman” (2011)
Directed by: Jonathan Hensleigh
Written by: Jonathan Hensleigh and Jeremy Walters based on Rick Porillo’s book by the same name
Starring: Ray Stevenson, Vincent D’Onofrio, Val Kilmer, Christopher Walken and Robert Davi
Running Time: 106 min.
Rating: 3 stars

If you haven‘t already seen “Goodfellas” or “Casino,” don’t worry: Writer/director Jonathan Hensleigh has covered them for you in “Kill the Irishman,” a hopelessly derivative yet compulsively watchable retread.

The true story of an Irish gangster yearning to become part of the Italian mob is initially narrated in flashback from a child’s perspective and follows its lead, a hood who survives a lethal car bomb explosion while oldie tunes boom from the stereo, as he becomes the self-appointed leader of the most powerful union in the Midwest.

“Kill the Irishman” stars Ray Stevenson as the unstoppable Danny Greene, a former longshoreman and future “Robin Hood of Collingswood” who butts heads with the Mafia and turns Cleveland into “Bomb City, USA.”

The devil’s in the details, and that’s where you’re sure to find any new wrinkles the film has to add to a tried and true genre. There’s a Tarantino-worthy exchange comparing a Scotsman’s love of haggis to an Irishman’s penchant for potatoes. (Who knew that every city in America plays home to what’s known as a “Theatrical Guild,” a tavern where cops and criminals drink side by side?) And we at last learn the reason Italian hoods call each other by colorful appellations: Because they’re too #%$&ing stupid to remember each other’s names.

The cast (all working in peak form) reads like a Who’s Who of cinematic made men. There’s Tony Lo Bianco (“The French Connection,” “Bloodbrothers”), Mike Star (“Miller’s Crossing,” “Goodfellas”), Paul Sorvino (“Dick Tracy,” “Goodfellas”) and loveable schlub Steve Schirripa (“Casino,” “The Sopranos”). Also popping up in small roles are Christopher Walken, whose fractured and wholly original line readings make anything he’s in worth a look; “Showgirls” tough, pockmarked Robert Davi; and for fans of British noir there’s Vinnie Jones (“Snatch,” “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels”).

The one thing “Kill the Irishman” has over Scorsese is its flair for mingling actual TV news pieces with gunplay, although this is relatively minimal. So much of the low budget film’s special effects went into bombings that there were precious few pennies left to waste on bullets.

Admittedly, I’m a sucker for R-rated, profanity-laced mob movies, and while “Kill the Irishman” will never become a top-shelf attraction, there are enough familiar faces and attempts to keep things fresh and moving at a clip fast enough to warrant a $10 ticket.

“Kill the Irishman” opens its exclusive run at Landmark’s Ken Theatre on April 29.

“Queen to Play”
Written and Directed by: Caroline Bottaro from a novel by Bertina Henrichs
Starring: Sandrine Bonnaire, Kevin Kline, Francis Renaud and Jennifer Beals
Running Time: 97 min.
Rating: 2.5

Caution: Spoilers throughout

Fresh out of the gate writer/director Caroline Bottaro can’t resist buying into a formula. “Queen to Play” tells the story of Hélène (Sandrine Bonnaire), a middle-aged chambermaid working at a posh hotel on the isle of Corsica,who recognizes a previously untapped passion for chess while watching an American couple engage in a romantic game on their hotel balcony. It has as much to do with wooden Staunton chessmen as “Raging Bull” does the Marquess of Queensberry rules. What should have been a subtle portrait of a strong, but somewhat disenchanted middle-aged woman’s sudden and unexpected rapture after a liberating brush with intellectual arousal, instead ends in a predictable sporting match.

Behind a locked hotel door awaits a tonic for Hélène’s humdrum soul. One look at the beautiful couple’s (Dominic Gould and the ageless Jennifer Beals) sensual cross-table match is enough to send Hélène reeling headlong into the arms of her faithful (and somewhat flummoxed) husband Ange (Francis Renaud). After she presents him with an electronic chessboard, whispered sweet nothings in Ange’s ear are soon replaced by sultry invitations to play pawn to her queen. Even a lacy negligee Hélène “borrowed” from Beals isn’t enough of an enticement to engage the put-upon Ange either in or out of bed.

Suddenly, everything she sees reminds Hélène of chess, and Bottaro skillfully milks just about every metaphor imaginable. Crumbs on a restaurant tablecloth become pint-sized pieces in a game of skill. Tiled floors morph into giant playing fields on which Hélène maps her strategies. She fantasizes about Ange and Beals engaged in casual play. Spotting a chess set collecting dust on the shelf of one of her regulars, Hélène offers to clean the rooms of agoraphobic Dr. Kröger (Kevin Kline) in exchange for lessons. At first the good doctor is hard pressed to recall his cleaning woman’s name, but with chess as the great leveler, the two quickly become fast friends and no more. The crusty recluse might not set foot outside his suite, but one thing he does leave is a doomed X-ray in the trash for Hélène and the audience to soon discover. Credit Bottaro for showing restraint by reigning in the pathos and not consummating the relationship.

Mastering the game is not enough to boost Hélène’s confidence. In order for her to fully reclaim self-esteem she must first enter into a tournament. Not unlike the queen, Hélène is the only female at risk in the competition and the evil chess club president (Daniel Martin) does his best to keep her from cracking the boys’ club. Not only does Hélène make it to the finals, the deciding game pits her against nemesis as chess is quickly reduced to a battle against good and evil. Tucked safely in his hotel room, Kline does his best Yoda by telepathically guiding his charge to near-certain victory.

It was going so well: terrific performances by the leads, enticing location photography,a compelling relationship drama. Too bad it had to end in such a “Rocky” manner.

“Queen to Play” opens its exclusive run at Landmark’s Ken Theatre on April 29.