For Downtown chefs, being a father is the ‘job du jour’

David Moye | Downtown News

Anyone who has worked in a restaurant knows how hard it is to do it well, but succeeding at it is very gratifying.

Fatherhood also has its challenges, but it’s also very rewarding to some of Downtown’s top chefs and restaurateurs, who try to make being a dad a priority even when the hours spent on the job make it difficult.

“I’m very involved with my kids,” said JSix chef Christian Graves of his three, Coby, Collin and Cash. “I love them. That’s why I work so hard. I help in their classrooms and go home early to help do homework.”

Graves takes pride in reading with them as well. “We’re halfway through ‘Harry Potter,’” he said proudly.

He is also teaching his kids a bit of what he does on the job.

“We grill a lot and my oldest, Coby, makes a dill sauce and he knows it takes exactly 1 1/2 lemons,” Graves said. Coby is starting to use knives too, but mostly to peel things.

Having a chef for a dad has its perks for the kids because Graves is the one who prepares his kids’ lunches.

“Sometimes, I will make a version of ‘Lunchables’ using good cheese and salami,” he said. “But I’m not sending them to school with oysters and caviar. We sometimes have that at home, though.”

Antonio Friscia, the chef and owner of Gaijin, also takes time to be with his kids, who are 10 and 14 years old, even though he admits the hours of running a restaurant makes it more difficult.

“I can’t participate in all the nighttime activities because I’m at work, but I enjoy making their breakfasts and I will leave work to do a practice or a special event,” Friscia said. “We try to fit it all in.”

Speaking of those breakfasts: The meals he’s made for his kids have sometimes ended up on the menu at Gaijin.

“Sometimes, they want burritos, but I have done rice bowls, like teriyaki beef grilled with a fried egg or, maybe, Chinese sausage,” he said.

Some of the rice bowls and noodle dishes have even been done at the restaurant. Friscia said fatherhood has helped him in his job in other ways.

“I was probably less patient as a younger chef,” he admitted. “I take a different approach now and try and be more fatherly to the staff. But that could be because I’m old enough to be their fathers.”

Friscia isn’t sure he wants his kids to follow in his footsteps, “They realize the hours are long,” he said, but he is proud that his kids are developing an interest in food.

“My little guy, Zane, is definitely a chef’s son. He has a distinct opinion, but I don’t think he’d do it professionally,” he said. “But maybe he can cook for his dates.”

Guido Nistri, who runs Monello and Bencotto and Little Italy, isn’t ready to teach his son how to cook for his dates – he’s only 3 – but the kid has already impacted his dad’s way of doing business.

“Having a child changes your life,” Nistri said. “He’s inspiring me to be a better person.”

One way in particular is that Nistri has more empathy for young parents who are trying to have a nice dinner with their kids. It’s also inspired him to make sure his son knows how to behave in a restaurant.

“We don’t let him do things that are offensive,” he said. “But we don’t want him to be the stupid boy who is just given an iPad, either.”

Like Graves and Frischia, Nistri said he wants his son to eat well so he takes pains to give him a good lunch to take to daycare. In his case, he learned those lunches were having an effect on the people who watch his child.

“We noticed the teachers started paying close attention to what was in his bag,” Nistri laughed. “They used to ask, ‘What’s for lunch?’ I used to wonder if they gave him all his food or ate some of it themselves.”

Nistri came up with a solution that satisfied everyone.

“I feed them all once a week,” he said. “After all, they’re taking care of my kids.”

San Diego native David Moye writes Weird News for the Huffington Post. You can learn more about him at huffingtonpost.com/david-moye.