{"id":243327,"date":"2010-04-02T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-02T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sdnews.com\/idol-worship-looking-for-some-celebrity-judging-yo-sweetie-that-was-self-indulgent\/"},"modified":"2010-04-02T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-04-02T07:00:00","slug":"idol-worship-looking-for-some-celebrity-judging-yo-sweetie-that-was-self-indulgent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/idol-worship-looking-for-some-celebrity-judging-yo-sweetie-that-was-self-indulgent\/","title":{"rendered":"Idol Worship: Looking for some celebrity judging? Yo, sweetie, that was self-indulgent."},"content":{"rendered":"

By Tim Parks
\nColumnista SDUN<\/p>\n

\"Idol<\/a>All right, so yo, okay, check it out, dawgs and dawgettes, which I am assuming would be Randy Jackson\u2019s way of referring to members of the female gender. Unfortunately, I don\u2019t have my Randy Jackson-to-English dictionary. <\/p>\n

But, that\u2019s okay \u2013 neither does he! Really: \u201cdope\u201d? I feel like I\u2019ve slipped into a \u201cHot Tub Time Machine\u201d every time he says that word and I am transported back to the \u201990s. And that can\u2019t be \u2013 I wasn\u2019t even born then.<\/p>\n

Okay, diatribes and delusions aside (uh-huh), what I am trying to convey is \u201cWhat is up with \u2018American Idol\u2019 this season?\u201d<\/p>\n

I realize Season 9 has been fraught with change. From the absence of Paula Abdul, the addition of Ellen DeGeneres, and Simon Cowell\u2019s announcement that it\u2019s his last season to where I think the true problem lies: The guest judges that came on board prior to DeGeneres\u2019 debut during Hollywood Week have left us with some just-okay singers who pale in comparison to last year\u2019s bunch of talent. J\u2019accuse! What did you do to \u201cAmerican Idol\u201d? <\/p>\n

So let\u2019s start there \u2013 and this<\/em> is \u201cThat\u2019s Entertainment!\u201d<\/p>\n

Part of the problem with this inconsistent season is there have been too many cooks in the kitchen opinion-wise. Perhaps with time these performers will thicken upon standing, as one of my favorite recipes calls for. Okay, you got me, it\u2019s for Kraft Macaroni and \u201cCheese\u201d \u2013 there, are you happy now? Are you? Great! Now I\u2019m hungry.<\/p>\n

Someone else in that state is celebrity judge Victoria Beckham. She had a real eye and not ear for talent with her penchant for telling people they looked great. Huh? Memo to Posh: This is not \u201cAmerica\u2019s Next Top Model,\u201d toots, as the hopefuls need to sound<\/em> great. No wonder she was referred to in certain circles as \u201cUseless Spice.\u201d <\/p>\n

Mary J. Blige, Katy Perry and Shania Twain, please take a step forward \u2013 you made it through. I\u2019m not going to make fun of you, although Twain\u2019s cougar tactics toward Chicago candidate John Park were weirdly unprofessional. You Canadians should know our sexual harassment laws, okay? Or \u201ceh\u201d as is the case with this gal who apparently isn\u2019t easily impressed much. No means no! <\/p>\n

Speaking of no: Avril Lavigne was also a judge. Why? To highlight to the potential winner not to let your career fade away so much that you are reduced to doing Proactiv commercials? Yeah, that\u2019s punk. Naturally, I know Katy (we\u2019re tight) did spots for having spots, too. But she\u2019s a pop star, so it\u2019s fine in my book \u2013 besides, she\u2019s not a poser. <\/p>\n

And I\u2019ll just assume Joe Jonas and his almost unibrow are the \u201cquiet\u201d members of The Jonas Brothers, as I didn\u2019t hear a lot of assessments coming from him. <\/p>\n

And then we had Neil Patrick Harris \u2013 what can\u2019t that man do? He\u2019s an actor, entertainer and award show host. But perhaps he shouldn\u2019t put \u201ccelebrity judge\u201d on his r\u00e9sum\u00e9, because in the words of Kara DioGuardi regarding failed performances, \u201cSweetie, that wasn\u2019t good.\u201d As shouldn\u2019t (and this kills me \u2013 don\u2019t hate me, Boo!) former \u201cPushing Daisies\u201d star Kristin Chenoweth. Yes, both have musical backgrounds, but c\u2019mon, couldn\u2019t they have brought on past contestants like Justin Guarini or Taylor Hicks? It\u2019s not like they\u2019re busy. Guess it\u2019s true that opinions are like, well, you get the gist, which the celebri-judges certainly didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Many Americans also held one about \u201cDancing Machine\u201d DeGeneres being selected to fill out the panel. Ellen, as she is commonly known (unless you\u2019re Jackson, then it\u2019s simply \u201cE\u201d \u2013 c\u2019mon, Randy, sound out the rest, it rhymes with Helen) took a lot of flak about her judgment duties. <\/p>\n

If you\u2019re DioGuardi, Ellen is just, ahem, one of the \u201cguys,\u201d as she referred to her on-air. Yes, we know why she\u2019s saying that \u2013 and her hair is just short because she is juggling judging and her talk show, so it\u2019s simply easier to manage. <\/p>\n

Did you think I was going to mention something else? What? 1997 and Time<\/em> magazine covers are a blur to me.<\/p>\n

Anyway, people believed she was not the right choice to fill Abdul\u2019s vacated seat. Unfortunately, Courtney Love is too busy fading into obscurity to provide the same loopy commentary that the \u201cStraight Up\u201d singer gave on a weekly basis. Then again, so is Abdul. <\/p>\n

Ellen (we are also tight) has said she merely represents we the people at home. Show of hands \u2013 how many of you are currently hosting anything other than the occasional cocktail party? I didn\u2019t think so. But I love her and think she\u2019s doing a great job thus far. Plus she\u2019s cognizant of her surroundings.<\/p>\n

How come Cowell\u2019s making this his last season and heading up the U.S. version of his Brit hit \u201cX Factor,\u201d which is essentially the same show? I know a certain brunette former panelist who might need a job! <\/p>\n

I can\u2019t imagine a televised world where Simon doesn\u2019t live and rip people to shreds, and I certainly can\u2019t stomach one of his possible replacements, Howard Stern. On paper it sounds like a good fit, but Stern is just obnoxious, and, sorry, seems to be a little too perverted for primetime. He would probably keep around the hotter female contestants to see if they\u2019d make out with each other for a nice shiny quarter. <\/p>\n

Cowell may be crass, but most times his observations are dead on, and the program is going to be lackluster without him. And when are he and Seacrest going to \u201cwork things out\u201d? You could cut their sexual tension with a spork \u2013 reminiscent of the first season of \u201cMoonlighting.\u201d <\/p>\n

And I have a criticism to the panel of judges: when dealing with your own remarks, make up your mind! Do you want young contestants to be young? Is it only okay to give a song a makeover if it\u2019s from Abdul\u2019s glory days? Poor Tim Urban caught hell for his reggae version of The Rolling Stones\u2019 \u201cUnder My Thumb\u201d (it wasn\u2019t that bad), while Andrew Garcia cannot seem to recapture his mojo from Hollywood Week with his cover of Abdul\u2019s \u201cStraight Up.\u201d <\/p>\n

I have termed this ninth edition of the singing competition as \u201cThe Year of the Weird Chick,\u201d as some of the ladies have that certain je ne sais quoi. These gals aren\u2019t your typical \u201cIdol\u201d types, which DioGuardi (isn\u2019t that an airport in NYC? She\u2019s really going places!) loves to point out. Lacey Brown, Siobhan Magnus, Lilly Scott and Crystal Bowersox all have that quality, which sets them apart from some cookie-cutter contestants of the past and present \u2013 I\u2019m talking to you, Katie Stevens. <\/p>\n

I have a seven-word acknowledgement to the show\u2019s makeover team regarding Bowersox: Thank you for buying her tooth whitener! Because prior to that, it wasn\u2019t pretty in HD. <\/p>\n

But I think she has a great voice, as do Didi Benami (bye-bye) and Magnus. And I want a woman to win this year for sure \u2013 that hasn\u2019t happened since Jordin Sparks in 2007.
\nAs for the guys, why do so many people love Michael \u201cBig Mike\u201d Lynche? I find him annoying and feel as though he is somewhat skating on the whole \u201cmy wife had a baby during Hollywood Week\u201d story. It\u2019s not like he gave birth \u2013 or did he? For a personal trainer, he\u2019s kinda, well, large, and not in a good way. <\/p>\n

Casey James is one of those Posh Spice creations; some weeks he\u2019s right on the money song-wise, others he\u2019s just nice to look at. Actually, DioGuardi had a hand (or two) in selecting him and probably took a trip to HR for her \u201cinterest\u201d in him.<\/p>\n

The Internet is abuzz that Urban is the new Sanjaya \u2013 could it be his hair helmet? Um, yes. One of the youngest hopefuls, 16-year-old Aaron Kelly, is this season\u2019s David Archuleta, and finally, there is someone shorter than Seacrest. By the by, his mom\u2019s name is Kelly Kelly \u2026 moving on \u2026 Lee Dewyze is very Daughtry-esque and looks like he may have messed himself a time or two on stage, he\u2019s always so nervous.<\/p>\n

Listen, as an \u201cartist\u201d I am all about people realizing their dreams and this show is a great platform for singers to do so. However, as a consumer I don\u2019t want to drop my hard-earned scratch on a dud performer, k? And as a television junkie, I just want to be entertained \u2013 is that so wrong? I want to be wowed by vocal prowess and performances that knock your socks off \u2013 hey, that\u2019s where they went. In a nutshell, get it together \u201cIdol\u201d and I\u2019ll stay tuned.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s entertainment!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Tim Parks SDUN Columnist All right, so yo, okay, check it out, dawgs and dawgettes, which I am assuming would be Randy Jackson\u2019s way of referring to members of the female gender. Unfortunately, I don\u2019t have my Randy Jackson-to-English dictionary. But, that\u2019s okay \u2013 neither does he! Really: \u201cdope\u201d? I feel like I\u2019ve slipped […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":726,"featured_media":243328,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"11555","_seopress_titles_title":"Idol Worship: Looking for some celebrity judging? Yo, sweetie, that was self-indulgent.","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[11549,11551,11555],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-243327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arts-entertainment","category-news","category-uptown-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/243327","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/726"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=243327"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/243327\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/243328"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=243327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=243327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=243327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}