{"id":239362,"date":"2017-07-07T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-07-07T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sdnews.com\/authors-put-a-positive-spin-on-divorce\/"},"modified":"2017-07-07T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-07-07T07:00:00","slug":"authors-put-a-positive-spin-on-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/authors-put-a-positive-spin-on-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Authors put a positive spin on divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"

Por Kit-Bacon Gressitt<\/p>\n

Divorce is increasingly common in the United States and the indicators are plentiful. Each year, the number of divorces is about half the number of marriages.<\/p>\n

San Diego\u2019s Family Law Bar Association lists more than 575 members. Even Amazon has ample evidence of the incidence of divorce: The site lists in excess of 7,500 English-language books on the subject.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a lot of divorce, but what the numbers do not reflect is the individual heartache inherent in marriage dissolution or the challenge of recovering from it.<\/p>\n

\"Authors
\u201cCharmed Divorce\u201d book cover<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Hence a new book by Robin Sassi, a Downtown resident, and Leah Scott, of Carlsbad, called, \u201cCharmed Divorce: A Positive Twist on the D-Word.\u201d<\/p>\n

Those who\u2019ve been through the legal process might find the thought of its being \u201ccharmed\u201d a bit preposterous. Not so, Sassi and Scott say.<\/p>\n

Sassi, an attorney and music shop owner, was divorced in 2012 and became a confidant and sounding board for Scott, whose divorce is still in process.<\/p>\n

Despite differing experiences with their former spouses and the courts, they are adamant that there\u2019s an upside to divorce, and friends often make the difference.<\/p>\n

Picture girlfriends meeting regularly for coffee \u2014 or an occasional adult beverage \u2014 sharing their marital woes, being supportive when one or another\u2019s marriage struggles and fails, offering suggestions and comfort, and finding the humor in it all, whenever possible.<\/p>\n

This is how \u201cCharmed Divorce\u201d reads, and a similar scenario actually provided the genesis of the book.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt one of our bi-weekly coffee dates, we were talking about all the crazy stuff we were encountering with our divorces,\u201d the authors wrote. \u201cWe shared stories of court dates, child custody issues and all the insanity that surrounds a divorce. \u2026 We discovered that keeping our minds, bodies and spirits aligned played a crucial role in maintaining our sanity through the difficulties of divorce and recovery. \u2026 We felt it was important to share this information for those who may be contemplating divorce.\u201d<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s what \u201cCharmed Divorce\u201d sets out to do.<\/p>\n

The book provides a reality check \u2014 a sort of road map for what to expect. Yes, divorce is excruciatingly difficult, full of \u201ctrials and tribulations.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Authors
Robin Sassi (Courtesy the author)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Yet the book is also a chatty and chipper self-help guide, with \u201c101 Things to Do When Getting Divorced,\u201d from \u201cGet laid\u201d to \u201cThrow out something old\u201d to \u201cDance!\u201d Yes, divorce happens, but it is survivable.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou will get through this process and even find some things to laugh about,\u201d the authors say. \u201cYou will become a stronger, more confident person in the end.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe book is not promoting divorce,\u201d Sassi said in a recent interview with San Diego Downtown News. \u201cIt\u2019s promoting turning a terrible thing into a positive one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Authors
Leah Scott (Photo by Emma Bucciero)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Sassi and Scott have managed to find numerous positive twists \u2014 the silver linings among the gray clouds of divorce.<\/p>\n

Can\u2019t afford a vacation, but desperately need one? \u201cSleep on a friend\u2019s couch,\u201d Scott suggested.<\/p>\n

Feeling crushed by your ex\u2019s hostility? \u201cAppreciate the small things,\u201d the authors wrote, \u201cthe sunrise or sunset \u2026 the joy a child has when playing in the park.\u201d<\/p>\n

They also enthusiastically encourage rolls in the hay and even include body hair landscaping guidance for women and men.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s always nice to be in fashion \u2014 even down there!\u201d<\/p>\n

The self-published book has plenty of humor and lots of references to self-care, some more touchy-feely than others.<\/p>\n

There is no legal advice, no sage counsel about becoming best buddies with your ex, no sterling prose.<\/p>\n

What Sassi and Scott set out to do was gather their personal experiences and lessons learned, and share them with people who don\u2019t have an experienced sounding board. And this they\u2019ve achieved \u2014 almost to their surprise.<\/p>\n

\"Authors
Leah Scott dancing in the rain (Photo by Anthony Cutietta)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cWe wrote the book really quickly,\u201d Scott explained. \u201cOur editor reviewed it for us. Then we almost had to start from scratch. It was fun at first and then it felt like a second job, but we powered through it \u2014 because the whole intent was to help women out. There are a lot of women who don\u2019t have a friend to go through the divorce with. Sometimes you\u2019re the first person in your group of friends to be divorced.\u201d<\/p>\n

The authors plan to extend that help outline in the book via a series of conversational podcasts, due to launch in early July at CharmedDivorce.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The podcasts and the book share an underlying theme: \u201cLearn to love yourself again,\u201d Scott said, \u201cbecause a lot of times when you\u2019re in a marriage for a long time, you forget who you are as an individual. We\u2019re trying to get people to remember who they are and to love themselves.\u201d\"Authors<\/p>\n

\u2014<\/em>Kit-Bacon Gressitt writes narrative nonfiction and commentary on her blog ExcuseMeImWriting.com<\/a> and is a founding editor of WritersResist.com<\/a>. She formerly wrote for the North County Times. She also hosts Fallbrook monthly Writers Read authors series and open mic for poetry and prose, and can be reached at kbgressitt@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Kit-Bacon Gressitt Divorce is increasingly common in the United States and the indicators are plentiful. Each year, the number of divorces is about half the number of marriages. San Diego\u2019s Family Law Bar Association lists more than 575 members. Even Amazon has ample evidence of the incidence of divorce: The site lists in excess […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":844,"featured_media":239363,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"Authors put a positive spin on divorce","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[11549,11547,11600],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-239362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arts-entertainment","category-features","category-sdnews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239362","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/844"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=239362"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239362\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/239363"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=239362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=239362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=239362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}