Everyone has heard the phrase, \u201cyou can\u2019t really understand another person\u2019s experience until you walk a mile in their shoes.\u201d<\/p>\n
The YWCA of San Diego County has been turning that phrase into a \u201cteaching moment\u201d for the last six years and on Oct. 9, they will do it again.<\/p>\n The seventh annual \u201cWalk a Mile in Her Shoes\u201d event challenges men to walk \u2014\u00a0or stumble as it were \u2014 through the streets of Downtown San Diego in a pair of high-heeled shoes, while raising money and awareness for Becky\u2019s House, a domestic violence services and support program of the YWCA.<\/p>\n Participants may sign up individually, with groups of friends or coworkers, and even families are encouraged to participate. Cost to \u201cwalk\u201d is $40 and only men are expected to put on high heels. Participants are encouraged to raise additional money for the cause through pledges or donations. Those who raise the most win trophies and other prizes, which will be awarded at the event\u2019s after party.<\/p>\n \u201cIt is certainly one of the most interesting events we do,\u201d said Heather Finlay, president of YWCA of San Diego County, adding that it\u2019s an easy way to spread awareness about a very serious issue.<\/p>\n \u201cOne in four women is a victim of domestic violence, and we\u2019re not even talking about the men,\u201d she said. \u201cGiving people a very light-hearted and funny way to help out and bring awareness is actually working.<\/p>\n \u201cWe need men to help us eliminate domestic violence and we\u2019re asking them to walk for a little bit in [women\u2019s] shoes.\u201d<\/p>\n The course begins at the ML King Promenade Park located at\u00a0 Fourth Avenue and K Street, then travels west up the promenade along the trolley and train tracks, turns north up Second Avenue, east on Market Street over to Fifth Avenue, and then south, down and around back to the start. Finlay said everyone finishes.<\/p>\n \u201cThe first couple of years we had an option called \u2018buy your way out of your heels\u2019 for $50,\u201d she said. \u201cWe would give them pink fuzzy slippers to finish in. Not a single guy did it. It\u2019s all about finishing and it\u2019s all about the competition. There is no way they are giving up the heels.\u201d<\/p>\n Finlay said while they\u2019ve see growth every year, they want to continue to grow the event and get as many men as possible to participate.<\/p>\n \u201cI was really fearful when we started this event that men would do it once and never return,\u201d she said. \u201cBut they come back and do it year over year, and bring more people.\u201d<\/p>\n After the men have gotten over the initial shock of the high heels, Finlay said many have approached her to say how much it has made them think about what women do for them, the community and bring to society.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what we want,\u201d she said. \u201cSo it\u2019s actually working and it\u2019s a great event.\u201d<\/p>\n One thing Finlay said she never expected was how the male participants would feel about the shoes.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t think men would care what shoes they were wearing,\u201d she said. \u201cBut they care. They want a specific color. They want the coolest looking pair.\u201d<\/p>\n And the participants who return year after year go buy their own shoes and show up with some pretty fancy footwear.<\/p>\n For those who don\u2019t have their own, organizers have a huge cachet of extra large high-heeled shoes for men to choose from, as long as they return them after the walk.<\/p>\n All the proceeds for \u201cWalk A Mile in Her Shoes\u201d go to YWCA San Diego County in support of all their programs, but the emphasis here is on domestic violence.<\/p>\n Prior to the event, registrants can stroll around the park and visit the exhibitors on hand sharing information and explaining their supportive services.<\/p>\n This year\u2019s speakers \u2014 usually from the law enforcement field and full of statistical data \u2014 have not been announced yet, but last year\u2019s speakers were San Diego County District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis and Sheriff Bill Gore.<\/p>\n \u201cWe choose members of law enforcement because they deal with [domestic violence] to such a great extent and the information they share is unnerving but beneficial to understand,\u201d Finlay said. \u201cPeople are always amazed to hear that domestic violence is so prevalent.\u201d<\/p>\n The YWCA has been saving women\u2019s lives since they established the first domestic violence shelter, then called Casa de Paz (House of Peace), in 1978.<\/p>\n In 1999, radio morning show team Jeff and Jer received a phone call on air from a domestic violence victim. The show\u2019s producer, \u201cLittle Tommy,\u201d protected the woman by calling her \u201cBecky.\u201d Her abuser was out of town for two days and she wanted to leave, but didn\u2019t know what to do. In just two days Jeff and Jer raised more than $40,000 and \u201cBecky\u201d had a place to go.<\/p>\n Shortly after that call, the YWCA renamed Casa de Paz to Becky\u2019s House, and in 2001 they opened their first transitional housing community, a 10-unit complex. Today, the organization has several undisclosed locations and touts the largest number of emergency shelter or transitional beds for victims of domestic violence in the county.<\/p>\n Finlay, who stepped up from board member to CEO in 2009, said while there are actually three phases of the Becky\u2019s House program, most women only need the first two.<\/p>\n Phase one is the emergency shelter, a place where any woman (or man) who needs to escape an abusive situation immediately, can go. The shelter is open 24 hours a day and seven days a week.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m told we are the only ones that take people in the middle of the night or on the weekends,\u201d Finlay said, adding that ironically it is during those hours that the violence most often occurs.<\/p>\n The emergency shelter has counselors and case managers on staff to help the victims when they arrive.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a very confusing and frightening time,\u201d Finlay said.<\/p>\n Phase two is the transitional phase, which can last up to two years. Clients are moved to apartment-style housing and set up with an entire legal team to walk them through restraining orders, divorce, child custody issues \u2014 the works. Finlay said they also get help developing a plan for what happens next, including how to support themselves and their children once they leave.<\/p>\n Phase three is called \u201cTransitions.\u201d Some people need just a little more help, and in this phase, they get it, including rent for up to one year. At the end of that year, they sign their own lease.<\/p>\n Though statistics often show that many women in domestic violence situations go back to their abusers, Finlay said the comprehensive Becky\u2019s House program and its methods are making an impact.<\/p>\n \u201cThe key element to this is providing housing to these individuals,\u201d she said. \u201cIf we have them in the program for two years, our data is showing that 98 percent of them don\u2019t go back.\u201d<\/p>\n On the other hand, Finlay was quick to note that many women who come into the emergency shelter stay for 30 days or less and move on, merely needing a safe place to go while they figured out what to do next.<\/p>\n \u201cEvery story is a little different and every path that they choose is a little different,\u201d Finlay said.<\/p>\n The staff of the YWCA of San Diego County is hoping that once again, having men walk a mile in women\u2019s shoes through the streets of Downtown to raise awareness and money to combat domestic abuse will make each of those paths just a little less challenging.<\/p>\n Walk a Mile in Her Shoes takes place Oct. 9, from 5 \u2013\u00a09 p.m., starting at ML King Promenade Park at the intersection of Fourth Avenue and K Street, Downtown. Exhibitors, financial sponsors, community partners and volunteers are still needed.<\/p>\n![\"(l](\"https:\/\/sandiegodowntownnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/10446997215_be99e6b57d_oweb.jpg\")
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