[Editor\u2019s note: September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. For information about suicide prevention, visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org<\/a>. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call 1-800-273-8255.]<\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n The act of suicide crosses all racial, financial, and social barriers. It doesn\u2019t play favorites, and it always leaves people hurting in its wake. Yet, for Anna Cambria, people who take their own life or the survivors left behind was hardly ever discussed.<\/p>\n This lifelong La Mesa resident is trying to change that with her book \u201cMy New Normal: Surviving Suicide Loss.\u201d Cambria\u2019s \u201cperfect\u201d world was turned upside down at 22-years-old, when her father committed suicide. Cambria was unaware of any struggles he had been dealing with, and was suddenly swept up in a sea of confusion, grief, and anger.<\/p>\n But she didn\u2019t know who to talk to about those emotions, who would understand. She was surrounded by people who meant well, but didn\u2019t know what to say or how to handle the situation either.<\/p>\n So Cambria started journaling \u2014 writing down her emotions and letting it all out on paper. She turned those entries and her chronicle into a cohesive story, in order to bring hope and encouragement to those in similar situations.<\/p>\n \u201cWe, the people that are left behind, have to deal with it for the rest of our lives,\u201d Cambria said. \u201cI thought maybe I could share my feelings with others, so they would know they are not alone.\u201d<\/p>\n The call that changed everything<\/strong><\/p>\n Cambria is an only child, and has lived in the same house since she was 3 months old. It was her grandparents\u2019 house before that, so her family\u2019s connections to La Mesa go back far. Cambria loved her parents and describes her childhood as \u201cwonderful\u201d and herself as \u201cspoiled with attention.\u201d<\/p>\n She and her dad were both Disney fans, and some of her best memories are day trips to Disneyland with mom and dad. The park is exactly 100 miles from their house, and they had it down to a science. Drive up in the morning, hit the big rides first, and still be home in time for bed.<\/p>\n Cambria remembers her dad as outgoing, optimistic, and incredibly creative. One of his paintings is now the cover of her book, showing a child filled with wonder looking up at the heavens. He was a self-employed industrial designer, even inventing a type of headphone that was sold worldwide. He was known to get up at 3 a.m. with ideas. One time when inspiration struck in the shower, he used her mom\u2019s eyeliner pencil to write out the concept on the shower wall!<\/p>\n On June 24, 2016, Cambria was at home, getting ready to go the beach with her boyfriend. Then an unexpected and frantic call came from her mother: Mom told Cambria her dad was in the hospital. Her mother said physically, her dad was okay; mentally, he was not.<\/p>\n \u201cI can clearly remember that conversation,\u201d Cambria said, sharing the surrealness of it. \u201cIt was just a normal day.\u201d<\/p>\n She found out her dad had been discovered in his office after overdosing on Valium right before an important business meeting. He had left two typed suicide notes, one for Cambria and her mother, the other for the men coming to the meeting. The notes shared the truth of investments gone sour and a business belly-up. The money was gone, and the debts were high.<\/p>\n But instead of the business associates finding her dad, it was her mom who walked in on him barely conscious on the floor of his lab.<\/p>\n The one regret<\/strong><\/p>\n Dad was hospitalized for three days, and set up with a therapy group. He only attended two therapy sessions, telling his family he \u201cdidn\u2019t need it \u2026 that most people in the group had lost loved ones and they were the ones who needed to be there, not him.\u201d<\/p>\n Cambria said her dad was too embarrassed to tell anyone about what happened, and didn\u2019t want Cambria or her mother to either. The story given to friends and family was that he was in the hospital for stress.<\/p>\n But even at home, his attempt and the reasons behind it wasn\u2019t a topic of conversation.<\/p>\n \u201cWe kind of avoided future discussion. I was more afraid to know the answers [than to ask tough questions],\u201d Cambria said. \u201cI regret not bringing it up.\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s one of the reasons Cambria has written and published her book now: to bring those conversations into the open.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not an easy topic. People, especially adult men, don\u2019t want to show weakness,\u201d Cambria said. \u201cI want to begin the discussion and end the stigma \u2014 because it\u2019s important.\u201d<\/p>\n A \u2018drastic permanent solution\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n A week after he came home, Cambria said her dad seemed back to his normal self. He started a new job through a network connection, and while she was still \u201cliving in constant stress,\u201d Cambria and her mom had lessened up on their \u201cconstant surveillance\u201d of him.<\/p>\n The first clue everything was not back to normal was the afternoon of July 8, 2016. Cambria and her mom came back from a Friday morning mass, thinking dad was at work, and a neighbor told them police had been at the house that morning. The police had referenced a car found on the side of the highway registered to that address, but wouldn\u2019t give any more information.<\/p>\n After finally tracking down the right police branch and department, they discovered her dad\u2019s car had pulled off to the side of a bridge about an hour from their house. His body had been found at the bottom, identifiable only by his fingerprints.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t even cry instantly \u2014 I was in shock,\u201d Cambria said. The emotion that ran through her the most in the coming days was anger. How could her dad do this to her? As she wrote, he chose \u201ca drastic, permanent solution to a temporary problem.\u201d<\/p>\n The response<\/strong><\/p>\n Suddenly, the secret was out. While Cambria said it was relief to be able to tell someone what had really happened to her dad, she also discovered many of those people felt uncomfortable when faced with the truth.<\/p>\n \u201cPeople really didn\u2019t know what to do,\u201d Cambria said.<\/p>\n Avoidance, advice and pity were all common offerings \u2014 and of no help to Cambria and her mom.<\/p>\n \u201cI hated that feeling of pity, and I was sick of \u2018I\u2019m sorry,\u2019\u201d Cambria recalled. \u201cI wanted to feel like a regular person again.\u201d<\/p>\n Another reason Cambria published \u201cMy New Normal\u201d was to give coping tools to those who are friends and family of suicide survivors.<\/p>\n \u201cJust to be there with us was so important,\u201d Cambria said. \u201cKnowing we didn\u2019t have to talk about it [if we don\u2019t want to], but being able to if we do.\u201d<\/p>\n She also appreciated the people who performed little kindnesses and mundane chores, like getting their dogs groomed or helping clean their house.<\/p>\n But the most important takeaway for Cambria from \u201cMy New Normal\u201d \u2014 whether the reader is a survivor themselves, contemplating suicide, or hurting for a friend \u2014 is to know that they are not alone in this fight.<\/p>\n \u201cYou should never feel like you\u2019re alone in this,\u201d Cambria declared.<\/p>\n \u201cMy New Normal: Surviving Suicide Loss\u201d can be purchased on Amazon in e-Book or paperback. Anna welcomes feedback and questions, and can be found on Facebook, Twitter @acambriaauthor,<\/a> or on her website annacambria.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u2014La escritora independiente Joyell Nevins puede ser contactada en joyellc@gmail.com<\/a>. Tambi\u00e9n puedes seguir su blog Small World, Big God en swbgblog.wordpress.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Por Joyell Nevins<\/p>","protected":false},"author":826,"featured_media":224863,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"11548","_seopress_titles_title":"A new normal","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[11549,11548,11550],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-225462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arts-entertainment","category-la-mesa-courier","category-top-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/225462","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/826"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=225462"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/225462\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/224863"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=225462"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=225462"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/test.sdnews.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=225462"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"A](\"https:\/\/lamesacourier.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/Untitled-1-1.jpg\")
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