'Twas the month after midterms, and all through the nation, the air resounded with Republican lamentations. Their mournful bellows echoed across the land, accompanied by the gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands.
Whatever despaired them so, to leave their spirits so trashed? It’s because, you see, their hopes had been dashed. For two years, in hubris they had remained, certain that their electoral success was preordained.
About the President they sneered and spit. “He’s senile,” they said, “He’s out of it.” Biden already has one foot in the grave; he’s an anchor around the Dems, so heavy they can’t be saved. We don’t need to hide our nut cases in a cave”, huffed the GOP, ”We’re assured of a mighty red wave.”
But on 8 November the votes were cast, and the American people had the say that was last. They chose to reject the Republicans’ perfidy, and in so doing, they bucked the tides of history. The GOP had coveted the Senate to flip. But instead, their scary red wave turned out to be a sad, little drip.
The Republicans had hoped for a dominating majority, but their bilious plans collided with voters’ priorities. Turns out Americans aren’t as interested in a party that traffics mainly in hate. They prefer a Congress that can actually legislate.
Because Biden, while not exactly youthful, has proven to be both effective and truthful. The President’s legislative successes are numerous, making his critics’ whining almost humorous. While Republicans agitated about culture war craziness, their own senators and representatives evinced nothing but laziness.
Biden and the Dems said, “Sure, go ahead and make fun. We’ll be over here getting work done.” It seems the calm and competent gentleman behind those aviators, really does know how to work with legislators.
Americans take voting seriously; it’s not comedy. That’s why Democrats found candidates of high character and quality. Republicans, on the other hand, seemed to have made recruiting lunatics their priority.
A TV doctor named Oz, was dismissed by voters for just cause. Calling vegetables “crudites” turned into a joke, and Pennsylvanians found phony the way he spoke. So when asked on election day, voters said, “No thanks, we’ll take the guy who just had a stroke.”
In Arizona, the GOP offered voters a Lake called Kari. The electorate, it seems, found her repulsive and scary. After she lost, she perpetuated her desperate election denial, screeching into the camera, spewing dyspeptic bile. Because Lake just can’t let her defeat go, she slunk off to the only place that would have her: Mar-A-Lago.
A candidate in Georgia, Herschel Walker, proved to be an unintelligible talker. Words tumble from his mouth in a befuddling fall, making no sense or meaning at all. Republicans thought this problem they could forestall, because Herschel once carried a Georgia football. But voters can discern rank hypocrisy, and Walker’s was plain for all to see. The candidate would shout, “Abortion can never be good,” when for years, we now know, he was practically a chauffeur to Planned Parenthood.
And voters as well took heed, of the radical Supreme Court’s misdeeds. To the Court’s ill-begotten Dobbs decision, Americans responded clearly, with pointed derision. The Republican justices in that majority, did plainly abuse their constitutional authority. American women used the midterms to let loose their voice: “Not so fast, Republicans, you don’t get to mess with our reproductive choice!”
But behind all the Republicans’ current loss, looms the one thing they’re unwilling to toss: it is, of course, their very own boss. In Florida, from his gauche and gaudy palace, he continues to belch with unrelenting malice. In the evening, morning or afternoon, he always hovers, the blubbery, orange parade float balloon. With the timbre of an off-key, flatulent bassoon, he insists on proving he remains a buffoon.
“The January 6 seditionists were patriots,” he rants; “Reinstall me as king, and pardons to them all, I’ll grant! Suspend the Constitution,” he cries, “the last election was tainted by lies! Ignore the facts, don’t be a rationalist. I alone can make the government safe for white nationalists.”
“In the House, we’ll have McCarthy; he’ll help us keep out all those immigrants swarthy. And we’ll continue to limit voting in “those” neighborhoods. Did you see how long were the lines in which they stood? Soon, we won’t even need to launder our own white hoods.”
“I’m not a racist,” whines the ex-Prez. Yet he entertains for dinner Kanye and Nick Fuentes. Trump refuses to denounce them, even as Kanye praises Hitler. And for the rest of the GOP? That remark barely measures a “1” on the scale of Richter. But for Republicans now, anti-semitism is de riguer. Perhaps that will give Jared and Ivanka something to atone for on Yom Kippur.
But happily for America, our voters this year, made plain their preference for truth over fear. It’s indeed a joyful holiday season, when America chooses not lies, but reason. With our democracy threatening to flounder, Americans affirmed the faith of our Founders.
So this December, let’s imagine George Washington’s voice as he speaks to the nation, his tone clear through the static. “Good holidays to all, and to all a good new year Democratic!”
– Sean Quintal writes on behalf of the La Mesa Foothills Democratic Club.
