Distraught over the death of her daughter Shyloh from drug addiction and mental illness on the streets of San Diego, Andrea Nelson wrote a book about Shyloh’s struggle – and her own – attempting to save her from herself.
Most of the story in Nelson’s recently published book, “Fort Unicorn and the Duchess of Knothing,” takes place in San Diego. Shyloh was found dead in her tent near Ocean Beach in June 2021. She lived briefly in Spring Valley in 2019 in a space shed named Fort Unicorn. During her last couple of years of life, she lived in or near Pacific Beach.
“I spent that first agonizing year of grief writing this book,” said Nelson. “The readings I’ve done have inspired deep and heartfelt discussions, which are motivating me to continue to share our story, diving into the tough topics: mental illness and addiction (issues touching almost everyone to some degree), trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, and loving unconditionally. It is important to me to share this work of love with the city she called home, and in the neighborhood in which she spent her last years.”
Nelson will be sharing her book and story during a visit to San Diego on Feb. 11-12 with appearances at both PB Library at 4275 Cass St. at 3 p.m. on Feb. 11, and at 2 p.m. on Feb. 12 at Warwick’s at 7812 Girard Ave.
Nelson said Shyloh was not a runaway, but rather a troubled child who relocated to San Diego “temporarily” to reconnect with her estranged biological father whom Shyloh hardly knew. “She and I were very close,” said the author. “She never ran away from home. She got into drugs, and there was (a history of) mental illness in the family.”
Noting Shyloh was struggling with “some kind of mood disorder,” Nelson pointed out her daughter was “fully functioning, did well in school, and was really smart and creative.” At age 27, Shyloh felt a “change of scenery” was in order and traveled to San Diego for a visit.
But Nelson pointed out she wasn’t aware of the true depth of Shyloh’s problems. “She was living a double life, struggling with drugs and alcohol and, at the same time, making the honor roll and graduating with honors,” said Nelson. She added that the conclusion became “inescapable” once she got a call during Shyloh’s third year in college, where she was majoring in psychology and criminal justice, informing Nelson that Shyloh had overdosed on heroin.
“We had no clue,” Nelson said of her reaction adding. “She valiantly kept trying to get out of it (addiction) and just couldn’t.”
That episode led to what Nelson described as a “downward spiral” and a “roller coaster” ride involving Shyloh’s recurrent rehab, and re-addiction to cocaine, crack, and methamphetamine, which ultimately deposited her on the street.
During her struggles after moving to San Diego, Nelson noted Shyloh would periodically and unexpectedly contact her talking to her about her ups and downs and “the challenge of living a nomadic life.”
Nelson noted Shyloh’s messages sometimes “made no sense at all or were just rambling,” or other times referenced “wanting to come home and writing a book about her adventures and struggles.”
Out of touch with Shyloh for long periods, Nelson filed a missing persons report in California on her despite being convinced she was dead.
“I flew out and found her,” said Nelson noting Shyloh turned up living in a vacant lot in Spring Valley in a makeshift tent with old furniture, a space she referred to as “Fort Unicorn,” while referring to herself as the “Duchess of Knothing.”
“She was mentally ill and paranoid and having auditory hallucinations,” Nelson said. “She would waffle about coming home. But she just ultimately couldn’t put things together to do it.”
Of what Nelson would like readers to get out of her book, she said: “The message really is that you can go to the end of the Earth to save someone. But if they don’t really want to be saved, all you can do is love them. And if there is a mental illness – it is doubly hard.”
Andrea Nelson book reading/signing
– The author from Wisconsin will be in San Diego to discuss her recently published book, “Fort Unicorn and the Duchess of Knothing,” on Feb. 11-12.
– On Saturday, Feb. 11, she will be doing a reading/discussion at the Pacific Beach Taylor Branch Library, 4275 Cass St., at 3 p.m
– On Sunday, Feb. 12, she will be doing a Weekends With Locals book signing at Warwick’s, 7812 Girard Ave. in La Jolla, at 2 p.m.
– Find her book at fortunicorn.org.