How to cope with the arrival of today’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have arrived! Yes, here in San Diego and throughout the world. The four calamities are famine, pestilence, war, and death. With the increasing drought in many regions across the African continent, crops are failing, contributing to widespread famine. There is also famine in Afghanistan and in many other countries. Although we are not facing famine in the United States, many people in this country face food insecurity, struggling with malnutrition, or uncertainty about where they will find their next meal. Likewise, we have pestilence in the form of COVID-19 with all of its variants infecting our planet’s inhabitants. We have war in Ukraine and death from all of the above.

The four horsemen have found residence in our world and they are tarrying. In trying to deal with their presence, we are experiencing increased anxiety, stress, and depression. In other words, our world is currently a mess, and so are we. We are experiencing stress induced by constant bad news.

How do we cope? We are in denial. We have developed COVID fatigue. In spite of the possible threat of infection, we are not wearing masks. We attend events, dine at crowded restaurants, and pack ourselves into other venues.

Nor are we handling today’s climate change. We are not reducing our use of fossil fuels in a timely manner, denying again its certain catastrophic future. We have predictable water shortages, yet we are still watering our golf courses and not planting drought-resistant plants in our gardens. Inflation is making a large portion of the population unable to provide food for their families or buy gas for necessary travel.

As a result, we are stressed. I am stressed. To avoid anxiety and depression, I only read the headlines in the newspapers, bypassing the stories. What helps are known health-related behaviors such as exercise, eating right, getting enough sleep, and especially spending time with friends. The latter may be the most important factor in dealing with stress.

Dr. Saul Levine, Professor Emeritus in Psychiatry, University of California, San Diego, writes: “Being part of a group gives you a feeling of belonging, that you are not alone… We, humans, are a social species with our need for affiliation programmed in our genes. While some individuals prefer being or living alone, the vast majority of humans need connection with others. Intimate connection with family and friends is one of the most important contributors to health, longevity, and happiness. By belonging, we experience inner peace and fulfillment with improved emotional and physical health. When we can share our joys and sadness with those close to us, we fulfill our deep need to be cared for and care for others. These events provide substance and meaning to our lives.”

A 93-year-old woman recently emailed me asking “Is this all there is?” This is a different kind of stress — being at loose ends with nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to see. No one is waiting for us; no one cares. No one knows we exist. As we reach the age where we are no longer working or taking care of family, we have arrived at the ultimate freedom to reinvent ourselves into a person we may have wanted to be or perhaps into an entire new embodiment. This can take several different routes. One strategy is promoting one’s growth and development, like singing in a choir, learning bridge, starting a walking group, or book club, taking classes on Zoom (whether Tai Chi or art history), or becoming adept at new technologies.

The other route is to become engaged in promoting the welfare of others, whether in our own community or globally. Is your interest in literacy, homelessness, or climate change? Something may be grabbing your attention. Finding a group of like-minded people where we feel we belong, a group of people with shared interests, who are involved in something you feel is worthwhile, is essential. Studies have shown that the act of helping someone is not only good for the person receiving help, it is equally important for our own well-being and even longevity.

We are tribal. We need to be part of something. Loneliness is one of the scourges of our century. Find others who are also seekers. Every one of us is needed by someone somewhere. We need to show up, be responsible, and meet our and others’ expectations.