Rituals and traditions Ritual: any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner; a prescribed code of behavior regulating social conduct, such as the shaking of hands in greeting. Tradition: the handing down of legends or customs from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice; a continuing pattern of culture, beliefs or practices. We all have our own rituals and traditions. We also can stop long-done rituals and traditions and start new ones. For instance, I brush my teeth every morning when I wake up, a ritual, but I no longer make coffee right afterward because I eat breakfast in the communal dining room here at the White Sands of La Jolla. We had a tradition in our family of having evening meals together — we no longer do that as the children have moved away. We can also start new rituals and traditions — moving to new settings or changing lifestyles often ends familiar ways of doing things and makes us have to re-invent ways of dealing with everyday life. Obviously, moving to a new community entails a host of new rituals. What is not so obvious is that we infuse our new environment with elements of the traditions we leave behind and can start new traditions wherever we live. Getting a friend to walk with you on a set day and time is a ritual. It’s helpful to ritualize it if you don’t like walking alone and need the exercise. Here at White Sands, I have started three rituals and traditions. 1. A weight management club that meets once a week for a weigh-in and a lecture by our staff nutritionist. Menus are discussed: what to avoid — deserts and cream soups; what to eat lots of — vegetables and fruit. This will be an ongoing club, a place to ask questions and get support. 2. Another one is based on the fact that many people here are living alone in their apartments, usually because they have become widowed or divorced. If someone falls or has a stroke or heart attack, the clinic calls an ambulance and the person is taken to the ER and then lies there on their gurney alone hoping to see a doctor soon. There are geriatric care managers who can meet them at the ER and be their advocate, but they do this for a fee. What I have instituted here is a buddy system. Everyone picks a friend to be their advocate in an emergency. It will become a tradition — to not have to be alone in the ER. 3. And lastly, we recently had our first Passover service. Ninety-seven residents signed up. David Kroll, who taught religious school at Temple Beth Israel for 20 years and sang in its choir, was the perfect person to lead the service, sing and teach our community about Passover. Many here had never attended a Seder and were glad to have the opportunity to learn and participate. Being an inter-faith community, it is important to act on our values and celebrate our various faiths together. Our Swiss chef, Urs, made matzoh ball soup as delicious as my grandmother’s as well as other traditional fare such as beef stew with prunes and apricots and home made chocolate macaroons for dessert. There was a seder plate and each table as well as the traditional sweet wine. Anyone, anywhere, can start a new ritual, can begin a tradition — it can be anything — picking up your mail at a certain time or having lunch at the same place every Thursday, as I have done at the downtown Rotary since 1987. Because our society has become so mobile, it is easy to lose the rituals and traditions we grew up with. We must consciously choose to share ours with new people in new places and to create new ones, because rituals and traditions bring people together, emphasizing commonalities. Predictable events give us a sense of security — we know what to expect. We need rituals and traditions to ground us, to connect us to each other and to our past, as well as to be able to forge a future together.