Choosing to marry or get married is one of the most important decisions one makes in life. Once you commit to your partner to forsake all others, your life is inevitably intertwined with theirs. Be ready to accept their flaws and support them throughout. However, things may get complicated if you are of a different race. Love may not always be enough, and you must consider the hurdles you may face in your marriage and devise strategies to face them. Here are the most crucial things to consider before being involved in an interracial marriage.
Racial Origin of Your Spouse
Learning your spouse’s racial origin is vital as every race has its own beliefs. It is also a way of showing your partner you care about them. Learn about their language, staples, religious and traditional beliefs, and values. Learning about their origin will also help understand the basis of their thought patterns.
As you learn about their racial history, you also learn how to approach life issues and inevitably make inclusive wedding plans. You can opt to directly and respectfully ask your partner crucial questions. You can also research on the internet, read books and journals, or visit places that will educate you about their cultural heritage. The knowledge will help challenge any false beliefs you previously had about their racial background.
The Challenges Evolving From Societal Opinions
Many interracial marriages have succumbed to quarrels or divorce because of letting societal opinions rule their relationship. People will always have their ideas about your life, especially when you enter into an interracial marriage. Expect a lot of staring, abusive words, and questions from haters.
Mostly, these haters will come from both your family members. There will be a lot of discouragement from getting married to a partner of a different race, with some members threatening to disown or disinherit you. This opinion will especially come from the older family members, who might not have moved on from past racial traumas.
Divorce
The divorce factor may be hard to swallow, mainly when discussed before marriage. However, you must check on the divorce rates for interracial couples to see if you are setting yourself up for one. Yes, it’s inevitable in some cases, but never go into marriage with divorce in mind, but still protect yourself and your kids by signing a prenuptial agreement.
Culture Clash
Culture clash is an inevitable topic among interracial couples. Cultural differences in relationships can be a way to spice up your relationship or ruin it entirely out of disagreement.
If your partner is of a different race, you should probably discuss and solve the most crucial cultural differences you face. Good communication will give you the confidence to face future racial-based situations together. You will also need to devise a communication strategy and be ready to compromise with each other on different grounds.
Be open with your partner about the positives and negatives of your racial and cultural backgrounds and be willing to come up with new traditions based on your soon-to-be family.
For example, when a white man intends to wed an African lady, they will need to discuss important things like dowry payment, children naming, and circumcision, which are essential rituals in the African community.
Always remember to be patient with your partner as they adapt to various cultural and racial-based systems as you look forward to tying the knot.
Values That Will Govern the Household
A strong foundation of value can always be a pillar in any home. It would be unreasonable to think that love will be all you need to make a good home. Therefore, before tying the knot, you and your partner should be able to come up with a unique set of values that will govern your home.
These values will be based on both your different racial backgrounds of beliefs. As you do it, be willing to listen to your partner’s arguments and respectfully agree or disagree.
Such values may comprise husband-wife duties, perspectives on respect, appreciation, and so much more. As you discuss this with your partner, be ready to make compromises and effectively communicate where an argument arises.
Raising Kids in an Interracial Household
As soon as the possibility of having children starts ringing in both you and your partner’s minds, it is paramount to be clear on how you plan to raise your kids about your racial heritage.
How will you name them, what languages would you like them to learn, what racial platform would you want them to identify, and what rituals would you like to pass on? Such questions are essential to answer before you start a family as they help the children grow up more confident of their belonging in society.
More importantly, you and your partner need to discuss when and how you plan to talk to your kids about their racial disparities. Many biracial children have reported harassment at school due to racial inequality their parents had not taught them about. It predominantly occurs among African- American kids who do not know whether to identify as black or white.
Solutions to Common Challenges Faced by Interracial Couples
- Share your problems with a friend who supports you both. Who will help you and your partner navigate racial differences.
- Open communication. It is the key to any successful marriage. Respectfully inform your partner of your feelings about racial-based comments.
- Compromise and patience. Be willing to compromise your racial standards to accommodate your partner. As your partner tries to adjust, show patience and encourage them as they do their best.
- Be ready to learn about their race and culture. It will make it easier to understand the point of view.
Pensamientos finales
Nowadays, interracial marriages do not face as much backlash as they used to. Stories of successful interracial marriages have swept all social media platforms and formed an inspiration to many. Biracial kids also do not face as much harassment in schools and places of work as people learn to live with them.
Moreover, interracial dating is simplified by interracial dating sites. What are your thoughts regarding interracial marriages? Let us know in the comment section below.
