When first coming into an already formed group, you will be met with certain challenges that need to be understood and dealt with. Whether you are joining a family, school, business or other organization, as a new person you must learn the rules of behavior (learning the ropes), survive the probation period (paying your dues) and finally become one of the group (pass muster and earn your stripes). What many new employees do not realize is that there is a strong likelihood that they will be assigned the jobs no one else wants to do. Newcomers are often stuck with the least interesting or rewarding jobs, the worst shifts, the most unpleasant clients or customers, the oldest cash registers, the poorly maintained trucks. They are asked to get coffee for others and are assigned the boring and menial tasks. This is known as paying your dues. In other words, you are the person with the lowest status and you are on probation. Time itself can count toward acceptance as a member, although the wait can make you feel like you are “doing time.” You must spend an unspecified amount of time in any group doing the less interesting jobs, deferring to the senior members of the group and generally be willing to be the “low man on the totem pole.” This is true not only of the workplace but also wherever groups gather. People often ask me whether there are cliques in the retirement community where we now live. Yes, there are some people who like to spend time together and meet for meals on a regular basis, and there is a men’s group at breakfast, but these and other less cohesive groups can be infiltrated by newcomers. No one is ever refused a seat at a table. Being friendly, helpful, available and entertaining all help with acceptance into a group. And what about within families — how is the latest in-law perceived and accepted? They must often find out the unwritten rules of behavior through trial and error and — not knowing the family history — are often relegated to the fringes of conversations. Over time, they usually make their way into the inner circle by complying with the expectations of behavior. Even U.S. Supreme Court justices are not immune. An article in the New York Times Magazine reported Supreme Court Associate Justice Blackmun’s experience during his early years on the Court: “His lowly seniority, which garnered him assignments writing opinions in tax cases and other mundane fare, did not raise his profile.” Immigrants to this country experience this low status. It is always the groups recently arrived who perform the more undesirable jobs at the lowest end of the pay scales. In the history of America, each immigrant wave has had its turn. The best way to handle being assigned undesirable duties is to understand how common the practice is and that no one means it to be punishment for the individual. In other words, accept the tasks as part of the price of being a new employee and do them gracefully. Undesirable assignments or menial work can cause new people to leave a job. I interviewed people about their first days and weeks at work and found that approximately 10 percent of my sample of more than 1,000 people had quit before they could be integrated into the work group. Many said that had they known at the time that their unpleasant experiences were just part of the organization’s culture and not meant to single them out, they would not have left. Membership is an issue of everyday life. We like to feel “in,” but then by implication some people must be “out.” The more exclusive the group, the better the members feel about being a part of it and the more difficult it is for a newcomer to be included. People who are already working together have formed special bonds and don’t want the status quo changed by a stranger’s intrusion. Those feelings are only strengthened if that stranger is of a different gender, race, social class, education or age. Some of the ways I have found that people gained membership were (1) finding something in common with another member, such as a shared interest or having an acquaintance in common; (2) doing favors; (3) accepting the probation with good nature; (4) being available and caring; and (5) not moving in too quickly with suggestions. Remember that membership is not a right but a privilege which must be earned.