Has this city lost its mind? (Can’t lose what ya don’t have.) First, no drinking at the beaches and parks. Then, fire pit removal. Now a plan to spend $700,000 to blast barking dog sounds on a beach in hopes it will drive off the seals? No wonder La Jolla wants to regain autonomy. $700,000. Cross your fingers, hope it works. And who cares about the neighborhood being pummeled with the offensive noise? Jeez, real dogs would be cheaper and probably more effective. Surely Indian dancers would work just as well too, and be entertaining all at the same time. Or how about live music of any sort, for that matter? Sure beats hideous dog barking sounds. Pardon me for rolling on the floor laughing. What a hilarious spectacle for tourists and locals alike. Public address systems blasting dog sounds. What a story about us dopey, wacky Americans to take back home. At least make it fun and insert the tune “Who Let The Dogs Out.” Don’t the seals themselves make barking sounds? And how long is this dubious plan supposed to be effective? If it works at all, it will do its job on the day of the bark broadcasting, and that’s pretty much it, I would surmise. $700,000, smoked in a flash. Then what? Will the lifeguards pull out the PA system speakers every morning and fire up the barking, or will a permanent system be installed? Will the beachgoers enjoy the sonic assault of the barking sounds throughout the day? How about this instead: Save a ton of money and do as the professional fishermen do and use seal control bombs. And to further their effectiveness and longevity, hand out several to the beachgoers each day. What a blast! (Pun intended.) How about an underwater fence to ensure the seals don’t return? That could actually work. Not long ago, I said, “Screw the seals, I wanna go snorkeling.” However, since then, reality has sunk in. The humans have clearly made a mistake and created a nice cushy spot for the seals to hang out and have pups. The sea is their home and always was. It’s high time we cut our losses and leave nature alone. Some things, like nature, we cannot control, and it is futile to try. (Insert serenity prayer.) There’s not enough parking over there anyway. And who doesn’t enjoy eyeballing all the slimy seals from the sea wall? It’s an attraction and rare spectacle in and of itself.