People go to the beach to get away from advertising blight. It’s everywhere we look, ad nauseum (pun intended). Mayor Jerry Saunders’ strategic marketing and advertising plan, backed by the Teamster’s Union, among others, would place advertising on our beaches to help reduce our $75 million deficit and restore funds for lifeguards and other programs. The plan’s projected revenue is $200,000 to $500,000 for five years. [This is] a mere spit in the bucket for advertisers. For this, we would give up our naturally gorgeous, eye-pleasing, nerve-easing beaches with their panoramic views of nothing but sand and sea, swimmers, surfers, and all manner of happy ad-free people? The advertising placed on lifeguard towers, beach benches, trash cans and walkways may also be placed on “lifeguard assets” like rescue trucks, surfboards, equipment, T-shirts, trunks, and bathing suits — front and back. Lifeguards in disguise seems like a bad idea. Ocean Beach has beach benches that were donated by families who have lost someone to the heavens who enjoyed sea-air breezes, soft sand between their toes and sun on their face. Now imagine a couple lazing on a beach bench plastered with advertising, watching children make sand castles, one person pointing to a lifeguard tower and saying, “Oh look, honey, a jumbo Trojan ad, isn’t that nice?! And the matching trash cans’ wonderful colors … Don’t they make staying for the sunset worth it?” Here’s a better idea. Instead of beach ads, let’s stop building downtown. I agree with Joe LaCava, president of the La Jolla Community Planning Association, who is quoted in an article by reporter Jenna Frazier of the La Jolla Village News as saying, “Protecting the parks and beaches from commercialization has long been a worthy goal.” La Jolla has a jewel of a tourist attraction in Mother’s Beach. Can you picture the walls of the breakwater surrounding the beach covered in advertisements? Oh, but take heart, my dearies. I’m not totally against advertising on our beautiful San Diego beaches. Why, putting ads on the inside of trashcans — especially at our world-famous Dog Beach — is a wonderful idea! Everyone who throws in a poopy bag will see them. —Sage Faber Ocean Beach