With the end of 2011, the new year brings us an opportunity to set new goals and resolutions for a brighter 2012. Whether it is going to the gym more, spending more time with your loved ones, or drinking less coffee and more water, Jan. 1 can be an amazing catalyst for self improvement. On behalf of bartenders around the country, I am encouraging your list of resolutions to include better social etiquette when attending restaurants, bars and nightclubs. Although the common man may simply see his local bar as the place to let go of all inhibitions in the process of deflating stress created by the work week, it is important to realize that a bar is a business just like any other. Just because alcohol is being served does not give you a hall pass on decency, nor does it mean you’ve just entered a modern-day Wild West that is void of any codes of personal conduct. Believe or not, following this guideline while likely improve the quality of your experience as a consumer as well. Here is your 2012 guide to better bar etiquette. You are very important but not special This may be contrary to everything your mother told you as a child, but is a fundamental concept that must be understood when attending social functions in private businesses. The most important variable in any profitable business model is the customer — without them, the business serves no primary function. When you walk into an establishment and spend your hard-earned money, you are essentially putting fuel into the engine that powers business. This makes you very important, but not any more important than everyone else in the building who are also spending their money. Buying two rounds of drinks does not entitle you to be the detriment of other guest’s experience, nor does it give you the right to speak to staff as if they are your personal servants. If you truly want to be seen as “special” at a given venue, I recommend becoming a regular, being polite and patient, and treating the people serving you the way you would want to be treated. This said, I hear that being an illiterate drunken train wreck from New Jersey with a bad spray tan and willing to air your lack of moral integrity on MTV makes you special in the eyes of certain venues. Be aware of your surroundings and act accordingly As simple as this may sound, more than a decade of experience has shown me certain bar patrons have little or no understanding of this concept. Just as your wardrobe choices change with your plans, so should your personal conduct. Behavior that is well suited for an Over the Line Tournament or a NASCAR rally could likely be scoffed at the Academy Awards show or Wimbledon, and the same is true with bars. You should not get snobby when your local sports bar doesn’t have an extensive collection of single-malt scotches, nor should you be surprised when the classy upscale lounge doesn’t serve your favorite drinks from college like 100-proof mouthwash or the cinnamon-flavored garbage you may know as Fireball. If you find yourself in a bar with intimate ambiance, be cognizant of your volume. If you are at a busy nightclub, don’t monopolize a bartender’s time or take up space at the bar top if you are not ordering drinks. The bottom line is that a little self-awareness goes a long way. Tip every time you order That’s right, I said it. TIP EVERY TIME YOU ORDER. No exceptions. It is your patriotic responsibility to tip the hard-working people who are serving you. Regardless of what your personal feelings are about the subject, it is customary to tip for service in this country, and having a Hello Kitty credit card or being from a country that doesn’t advocate the use of deodorant does not make you exempt from this customary action. So customary is it, in fact, that the IRS assumes tips are part of our incomes and taxes us accordingly. Many venues make their employ- ees claim at least 10 to 12 percent of their tips as income for tax-liability purposes. That means when you stiff a bartender or server out of your own ignorance, you are forcing that young man or woman to claim taxes on income they did not make. To add insult to injury, minimum wage for tipped employees in certain states is less than $3 per hour. Furthermore, there is an entire delicate ecosystem of people that are inherently affected by your decision come gratuity time. Just because you didn’t like your bartender or server doesn’t mean that the busser, bar back, back waiter, glass runner, security guard and sometimes even kitchen employee should suffer as well. If you have bad service or any issue regarding your experience, ask to speak with a manager before drawing a line through the tip portion of your receipt. In short, if you don’t have money for a tip, drink at home. It’s way more cost effective anyway. Never engage in any of the following behavior for any reason • Bang on the bar top or snap your fingers to get someone’s attention. This is simply classless and unacceptable in any bar • Wave money in the face of someone serving you. Although this tactic is very effective at your local strip club, it is in fact very insulting to wave money in the face of the person serving you • String order (the process of ordering one drink at a time as opposed to giving your full order to the bartender at once). This monopolizes your server’s time and keeps them from serving other guests in a timely fashion • Ask for a strong drink or insist on a “hook up.” Pouring more alcohol than allotted or giving away something for free is the same as theft. When was the last time someone walked into your cubicle at Enterprise Rent-a-Car and insisted that you “Hook it up, bro!” You look cheap at best and classless at worst • Expect to get something for free because it’s your birthday. Your birthday entitles you to dessert on the house at certain restaurants, which is more than any other industry does, so be thankful for that • Complain about the price. Chances are your bartender didn’t decide the pricing structure, so pulling an attitude with them is no different than killing the messenger • Order the same round from more than one bartender. Unless you plan on paying twice, don’t order twice Follow these rules, and you should never again have to worry if someone spit in your drink.