A 2019 study found that 36.48 million people lived alone in the United States. What that statistic means is there are a whole lot of people sorting out how to weather our current shelter in place circumstances without a partner to help navigate the day to day tasks and stressors that go along with living alone right now. Living alone during normal times can feel like a calm from the storm of all the demands, noise, and busyness of your work and social life. However, when your home also becomes your office and your friends are all on the outside, knowing how to survive a lack of human contact becomes confusing. Here are some of the best ways to survive this potentially challenging time for those of us who live alone: Continue with your routines. If you wake up every morning to yoga, a bowl of oatmeal, and walk with your dog, then keep doing it. Reminding yourself that some things in your life haven’t changed keeps your brain organized and soothed by the rituals of day that you used in the past to anchor you. Schedule regular events with friends. Thursday nights at five has become a standing virtual happy hour for our friends. We get to look forward to seeing each other’s faces, sharing in our collective worries but also our collective hopes, and getting to be reminded how funny our friends can be is a real source of support and connection during these uncertain times. Who needs to hear from you today? Reach out to those friends, co-workers, or family members that might be either feeling alone or needing a break from their current stressors and would be cheered up by a call or text from you. Just letting someone know you thought of them or wanted to share a new show you have been binge-watching that made you think of them is a nice gift to share. Share your thoughts with others or get support online. When social media is used to lift and reflect with others then it can be a positive tool for connection. Write something inspiring, make a note about something that happened that went well for you today, or share a picture of something on your daily walk that others might enjoy seeing. The point is to notice all of the things happening for you that are worthy of feeling good about as a way to get reinforcement from your collection of friends and family to remind you that you are loved and seen. Have Fun! Is it time to eat ice cream for breakfast, dance around the living room to your favorite 80’s dance tunes, make funny videos of yourself while brushing your teeth? Now is the time to dig out comedies, memes, and gifs that make you laugh. The more you laugh the more of the feel-good chemicals such as oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine will be released that will help give you daily doses of the kinds of coping skills you most need to get through this time in your life. Remember this is temporary. This time will come to an end. Yes, it’s nerve-racking to know that we don’t know exactly when that will be. However, you have gone through hard times in life in the past. Remind yourself of those times and how much stronger you are then you probably give yourself credit for. What did you do during those times that you can call on now to get you through today. Just take this one day at a time. Dana McNeil is a licensed marriage and family therapist and is the founder of a group practice called The Relationship Place located in San Diego. McNeil’s practice specializes in couples’ therapy and utilizes an evidence-based type of couples’ therapy, which is known as the Gottman Method.
