A child’s world is not much beyond that of the parents, the nursery, the play group; it’s a narrow world. The teenager’s world becomes a bit larger; it mostly comprises school, friends, phones, TVs, music, athletic events. The adult’s world is largest — it can encompass everything and anything, from work and travel to involvement in one’s community, in one’s society, in world affairs. An older person can remain active and interested and interesting by pursuing varied interests or allow their world to shrink as one moves out of broad activities into only those concerning one’s health, one’s comfort, a couple of friends and what’s for dinner! As the minutiae of daily life is all there is, the importance of what’s on your plate and the time it takes to get there becomes magnified. Not only is the world getting narrower, the feelings of entitlement get magnified. The child wants his meal or toy right now. The adolescent does not understand why he or she can’t have the car tonight and the senior person wants immediate gratification, with no patience for a slower response to one’s needs. I see this in our dining room at our retirement community where people get very upset if something is not served right away, as if they have an urgent meeting to go to or a plane to catch. I find myself falling into the immediacy trap at times too, with unmet expectations taking a steeper toll than warranted. When life had many dimensions and so many things were truly important, like dealing with job responsibilities or irresponsible children, a home to keep up, meals to prepare or volunteering commitments, life’s small inconveniences were thrust into the background. With all of the above not an issue anymore, these small inconveniences take on a life of their own and become the main preoccupation. It is similar to people on holiday where they fuss and nitpick about everything, not having the real world to deal with. The feeling of entitlement is also exacerbated by the inevitable losses incurred in older age: whether it is some impairment of one or more of the senses, such as sight or hearing, or loss of a friend or family member; this deprivation is also coupled with changes in the brain. The area designated for impulse control shrinks and one has less patience with waiting, one is more irritable, quicker to anger. “Grumpy old men” is a reality for many as well as “cranky old women.” This loss of impulse control also expresses itself by sometimes inappropriate comments or rattling on for far too long about events in one’s past. On the other hand, there are also those people who appreciate more than ever every day they’re alive, grateful for the sun, for the friends, good health — theirs and family’s — for an ice cream cone, a fun movie, an evening out, appreciating all the small events that make up our days. How to strike a more balanced perspective? Thinking about the incongruities of living with everything done for us in a beautiful place and a responsive staff and still finding things to complain about while the rest of the world is suffering from famine, floods, fires and earthquakes, not to mention wars with their displacement of entire populations. I’m not advocating becoming Pollyannaish, because it is indeed important to keep improving one’s environment. I’m advocating appreciation of everything we have — from good-enough health to attentive-enough children and grandchildren. I’m advocating gratefulness for all that we have from the time we wake up in this beautiful part of the world to the time we go to bed surrounded by quiet for some or by the sound of the ocean for others. Yes, gratefulness, every day, and many times during the day. Actually, the choice is ours whether to grouse or be grateful.