What is everyone I know tearing their hair out about? Too much stuff: overflowing closets, drawers, garages. Everyone agrees we all need to downsize, but how to begin? A cluttered home is the single-most used excuse for not being able to move by people wishing to go to smaller quarters or to a retirement community. Thinking about moving is a time to reflect, regroup and organize our lives so that we can age with the least amount of stress for ourselves and our families. Looking at a house full of stuff is daunting indeed; we don’t know where to begin, so we just don’t. Our children don’t want our treasures, and neither do the grandchildren. They have no desire for the lovely crystal glasses or the gold-rimmed dishes that should not go into the dishwasher. We should not feel rejected; it is a different time with a different lifestyle, a more casual one. I remember the house my mother died in at age 96 — she had lived there for more than 60 years. It was a confusion of stuff — wonderful souvenirs mixed in with tax returns from more than 50 years ago, children’s letters mixed with old receipts. Sorting through and deciding what to hold on to and what to discard was exhausting and painful. Furniture no one wanted, paintings from known and unknown artists, lovely clothes that were too small for me — what to do? Today, I worry that after I die my children will have the same nightmare of dealing with my 30 photo albums and hundreds of beloved books. I imagine them sifting through dozens of sundry items: the beautiful ashtray no one has used in decades, the cute wooden penguin from Antarctica, the rag doll I made from a mop … You get the idea. We must start downsizing while still healthy enough to do it, or it will be done for us or without us. Why is it so difficult? Every object has a memory, and memories are a part of us; discarding an object is losing the memory. It need not be so. Take a photo and you can keep the memory, or give it to someone you visit and you will see it again. Your discarded objects may have a new life as someone else’s treasure. Have you ever talked to your children and grandchildren about your life, about the history of some of the objects in your home? Many things have stories attached; share these memories, and they will become part of your legacy. Those who have been able to get down to just what they need or really, really cherish say they feel liberated — a 1,000-weight has been lifted from their shoulders. But most of us look at everything we own and feel despair; the task is too monumental. So we postpone and postpone, feel defeated and guilty. I know I do when I look at my file drawers knowing how many useless papers are residing there, and yet, instead of starting to sort, I find something supposedly more important to do. There are two strategies to help us get rid of clutter: one is the piecemeal way, a little at a time, and the other is to do it all in one day or at most one week. If you feel you can’t get yourself going, set aside 30 minutes or an hour a day to work, or do it by territory: one drawer today, one-half a closet tomorrow, one corner of the living room the next day … By limiting yourself to something small and easily achievable, it is possible to break a large task into segments. If this feels like an endless process, then go for the “in one swoop” strategy. You will need help; your children are wonderful for this task, so are good friends. You work as a team making decisions as you go along. For this strategy you will need five categories: 1. Trash and recycling 2. Give away to specific people or donate to charity 3. Sell (eBay or garage sale) 4. Keep (only if needed or really beloved) 5. Can’t decide (keep this small and give yourself a firm date to make final decisions or everything you own will go into this category) You will need garbage bags, boxes, and tags for large objects like furniture. Now all you have to do is decide to do it. It is a mindset, so set your mind, bite the bullet, and roll up your sleeves. You will be amazed at how much lighter you feel and how grateful your children will be. And be sure to throw this column away as soon as you’re finished with downsizing. — Natasha Josefowitz taught the first course in the U.S. on women in management and is the author of 19 books. She lives at White Sands La Jolla.