By Dr. Ink

Imagine an office where computers, telephones and claustrophobic cubicles don’t exist. Instead, when clocking in, you’re greeted with a full bar flaunting two-for-one drink deals and friendly “associates” who don’t give a damn if you start blurting twaddle with alcohol on your breath.

Welcome to The Office Bar, where decompression from real office life occurs between 4 and 7 p.m. everyday to the tune of beer, bubbly and specialty cocktails, all sold in twofers.

Located in the heart of North Park, The Office resides at the site of the former Belvedere, which goes on record for being the first joint on 30th Street that served cocktails. We’re talking 1946, although 10 years later, the business was renamed to what it is today before changing its identity to Scolari’s Office in the early 1980s. After a bit of renovation several years ago, the current ownership reverted it back to The Office, tagging it with the word “bar” just to make sure we don’t confuse it with some employment agency or real estate group.

The rule of thumb is to eat before you come because The Office doesn’t serve food. However, should you end up with a bellyful of booze without eating first, the food choices within walking distance are aplenty: Caffe Calabria across the street; A Sicilian Thing Pizza a couple blocks north; Heaven Sent Desserts a block south, etc.

Lighting inside The Office is the antithesis of places where most of us work. Instead of eye-straining fluorescent bulbs, we find a few rays of sunlight peering through the front windows and several light boards showcasing drink specials and pinup art. The walls, floors and ceilings are all black, left that way perhaps from the days when Scolari’s Office was a haunt for punk rockers. Today, the modest-size back section gives way to guest DJs that belt out everything from reggae and rock to boogie and disco.

All was relatively quiet when I perched on a bar stool (with arms) and nursed a couple of Rogue Hazelnut Brown Ales on a late Saturday afternoon. Having spent only $6 on the duo of drafts, it gave me time to soak up some conversation emitting from a group of 20-somethings standing near the bar. Unfortunately they focused on my least favorite subject: Facebook. They at least spent more time discussing the company’s public stocks rather than their daily posts. Next time, I’ll stay longer with the hopes of running into some actual work associates who might drink enough to spill some veritable office gossip.

RATINGS:

Drinks: 4/5
The liquor inventory appears hardy, which leads to specialty cocktails such as the “Black Monday” made with Effen Black Cherry Vodka and Coke or the “Fringe Benefit” that blends bourbon with bitters and ginger beer.

Food: N/A
There are no fries, no wings and no tacos, no anything.

Value: 5/5
The Office Bar adheres to the classic tenets of happy hour, offering two-for-one deals on all drinks.

Service: 5/5
Whatever her name, the attractive female bartender with long, thick brown locks well understood the art of customer service. The bar was in capable hands.

Duration: 5/5
Weekday working stiffs can especially take refuge in this three-hour happy hour held seven days a week.

The Office Bar
3936 30th St. (North Park)
619-450-6632
Happy Hour: 4 to 7 p.m., daily