You’d be insane not to enjoy Crazy Burger

By Dr. Ink

There are several things I just don’t get about Crazy Burger. For example:

Why do the numbered burgers on the menu start at 3 and then jump to 8 followed by a jump from 11 to 14 and so on to 36?

Why do most of the menu items end in 99 cents?

Why is the wine sold only by varietal and not winery or year?

Why does the sign outside the restaurant say “Crazy Burger” with a “y” yet the Web site URL is “crazeeburger.com” with two “e”s as is all the copy on that site?

Why do they allow the Mexicana music in the kitchen to drown out the classic rock in the dining room?

And finally: Why are there no hamburgers on the Happy Hour menu at a burger place?

But if my questions lead you to believe I do not enjoy an occasional stop at this odd location at 30th Street and Howard Avenue, you’re wrong. Even without a burger deal during Happy Hour (the full menu is still available), Crazy Burger provides great value.

I quickly got over my hankering for some grilled cow when I saw the four sandwiches on offer: bratwurst ($2.99), pork loin ($3.99), turkey burger ($3.99) and veggie burger ($3.99) – all about $3 off their regular price. My guest and I weren’t terribly hungry since it was midday so we decided to share the pork loin. Now mind you, I lived in Indiana for 10 years in another life so for some reason when I ordered the pork loin I expected something breaded and fried – because that’s how they fix it in the land of the Hoosiers (then again, they also pronounce “fish” as “feesh”). Instead, we were promptly served two grilled, lean pieces of loin on a fresh bun with lettuce, onion, tomato and pickles. But the kicker was on the side: a chutney with red peppers, garlic and chili. It was the perfect accompaniment to the juicy pork. The only downer was the bun, even with grill marks, was room temperature.

Still, my companion said, “I’d definitely buy another one.” (Actually, it was my credit card holding open the tab, but I let him finish it anyway!)

We enjoyed the beer taps as well. Drafts are $2.99 (regularly $4.99) with eight choices: Stone IPA, Firehouse American Pale Ale, Spaten Pils, Murphy’s Stout, Spaten Lager, Franziskaner Hefeweizen, Spaten Optimator Doppelbock and Stone Smoked Porter. For a small run of selections – by 30th Street standards, anyway – I found the mix of local and international beers just right. And it was fun to try the Spaten line from Munich, no doubt featured as a nod to Crazy Burger’s German owner, Wolfgang Schlitt. There are also eight bottled beers, but they are not part of the Happy Hour pricing.

Although Crazy Burger does not have cocktails, it does complement the beer with a varied if not terribly descriptive wine list. As I said, one of my questions is why the menu only lists the varietals of wines (Chardonnay, Merlot, Tempranillo, etc.). But the good news is four on the list of 13 are $3.99 a glass during Happy Hour. Even better: on Tuesdays, wine by the bottle is half off, which would be a nice price since they only top out at $24 anyway. But I did have concerns about the wine’s storage – my glass of Nero d’Avola was slightly warm.

The ambience is casual and can be chaotic. Although we were there at 3:30 on a weekday, I’ve seen lines out the door for Crazy Burger (this has merit – the burgers are delicious). And since the two order-takers at the counter are also the bartenders for the eight bar seats, bar service might be difficult as Happy Hour collides with the dinner rush toward 6 p.m. But the Happy Hour food and beverage pricing is available for dining room patrons as well, so even though you might stand in line you’ll still be saving a few bucks.

On the way out, my friend, happily sated from the pork sandwich plus three drafts, was still ruminating on the missing hamburger from the Happy Hour menu.

“But what if a meat-eating American comes in and wants a real burger at a Happy Hour price?” he said with a sudden beer-induced patriotism that took me back to Indiana for the second time that day. “Couldn’t they even just have sliders or something?”

Burgers at a burger joint? Now that would be crazee – er, crazy.

Crazy Burger

www.crazeeburger.com

4201 30th St.

San Diego, 92104

(619) 282-6044

Happy Hour: Daily 3-6 p.m. plus Fridays and Saturdays, 9-11 p.m.

Ratings:

Drinks: 4

No cocktails and I was put off by the warm wine – but it is 30th Street’s only set of four German taps.

Food: 5

The quality of the spread for the pork sandwich told me someone in the kitchen cares about the food.

Value: 5

A generous-sized sandwich plus four drafts and a glass of wine for $21.68 before tip.

Service: 5

Fine, but I wouldn’t expect much if the ordering lines got long.

Duration: 5

Since it lasts ’til 6, this Happy Hour could provide dinner and drinks, not just snacks. Plus the weekend later-night hours could make this a first or last stop on a 30th Street pub-crawl.

Note about the ratings: Each category is based on 1-5 glasses, with 5 being best. Drinks and food are rated as to quantity and quality, while duration is based on the number of days and hours Happy Hour is offered. Value and service are self-explanatory.

Want to make me happy? E-mail Dr. Ink about your favorite Happy Hour and I’ll drop by with my stethoscope: [email protected].